Thursday, February 21, 2013

Random Ramblings

I have a lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head, and thought them best put into words. So please, bear with me and my itemized list.

  • I struggle daily with work and being a mom. I'm late to work because my kids need me, and I have to leave work the moment my students are dismissed to come home. Which means I always have work left to do, and I struggle to find time to do it. I mean, my basic, day-to-day tasks are complete. But I feel like I need to do more for my students. Have more hands-on activities. I get all of these great ideas, but have no time to execute them. You'd think after 4 years I'd have this balancing act down to an art. 
  • I struggle with me. I'm a mom. I'm a teacher. I'm a wife. I feel like I have no other identity than those 3 things. What happened to the woman who read every day? What happened to the woman who took pride in her appearance? What happened to the woman that loved to learn and took classes any chance she could? Or heck, what happened to the woman who would have balked at the idea of shopping at Target alone for 30 minutes as a treat? If you find her, please have her call me.
  • My weight loss journey is going well. I started at 154 pounds and have dropped to 131 (that's in the morning - ahem, after going to the bathroom). I wish I could say it was due to hard work, or eating right, or self-control, but it's not. I've struggled with ADHD my entire life, and with that (especially after having children) PPD and anxiety. Making a conscious decision to go back on medication 3 months ago has completely altered my life. My children annoy me less, I'm able to focus and get more work done, and my lone side-effect is that I don't feel compelled to eat an entire bag of chips (as I sit here, writing, eating a bag of chips) in one sitting. 
  • I jump to conclusions. Horribly. For instance, my husband mentioned that he wanted to leave & spend time with Emma on her weekends with us. I completely read that as he wanted to leave and so I armed myself with talk of mediation and attorneys. I'm so thankful I married a man that has the ability to be calm and talk to me while I'm completely irrational. 
  • I've struggled the past year with identifying exactly who I am and what I believe in. I struggled for so long to fit in one little mold, clinging to something I doubted my entire life. It has been so freeing to finally recognize WHAT and WHO I believe in, and not really worry what anyone else has to say about that matter. It has further solidified my resolve that I won't indoctrinate my children, and will encourage them to pursue their own paths to happiness. 
  • I have made it my goal for the year 2013 to write, illustrate, and self-publish (on Amazon, yo) a book. I'm holding y'all responsible for keeping me accountable. 
  • And lastly, I completely apologize for inundating my blog with reviews over the next few months. However, it's hard to turn down sponsorship that will clothe my many children. And hopefully, some of yours (because I don't like to do reviews without giveaways - wheee!). 

4 comments:

  1. Hi Jenn! I don't know you IRL but I have followed your blog since you were expecting the twins and I was expecting my son, they were actually born on the same day! I admire you and all that you have been through and you still have it all together. It was nice to see your post because I have been struggling with some of the same issues you have posted. Its good to know that I'm not the only one out there that feels the way we do and that I'm not going crazy. Thank you for being who you are and most of all for being an inspiration to me and I'm sure a lot of Mom's out there.
    You have a beautiful family and a wonderful sprit, thanks again!
    ~Veronica, in San Antonio TX
    vdgulrich11@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't even imagine trying to juggle teaching and parenting 4 kids, so kudos to you for being able to get even the day to day stuff done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I only have two children and stay at home yet struggle with the same issues you have mentioned above. I think its part of being a woman and especially a mom. Hang in there! You are doing great and on top of everything find time to Blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I also struggle with anxiety and was wondering what meds you are on? I have debated taking one for years now and am considering lexapro... Any insight would be great, I'm scared of side effects!

    ReplyDelete

 
Blogging tips